Ah, it is that time of year again. A new year, a new you, quickly followed by the old ‘you’ showing back up every year. But each year we make the resolutions in the hope that this will be the year. And I am no different.
I am one of those dreamers, someone with big ideas that get a burst of energy, some forward momentum, and then I abandon them for the next big idea. Because of this, I never complete anything, and I build up a constant feeling of failure– when in reality I haven’t tried long enough to fail. I guess you could say I am very successful at not succeeding.
But I am not talking about succeeding in life in the traditional sense. I have a home, two degrees which led to a job, a well-fed cat, and a family who still invites me to holiday dinners. I am doing pretty well in the appearance section of life. But I am failing at following my dreams.
New years resolutions are both exciting, and scary to dreamers. They give the burst of excitement, followed by the most depressing month of the year. But here is mine: I want to nurture my talent for writing. And I want to be able to write that sentence without the goblin in my mind scoffing at the word ‘talent.’
I cannot call myself a writer if I don’t write. I can’t say that I want to quit my job and start writing full time if I spend my free time in front of the television. I need to produce and feel the success of that production. That is why I am not making my regular new years resolution of writing a novel this year. A novel is a long process which requires an accomplishment of a large goal before having any feeling of success. I wrote one book, a mess in need of serious surgery before I would even think of sharing it with anyone. I wrote that three years ago. So….. I believe that I need to start smaller.
Enter this blog. My goal is to write 12 short stories this year, one per month. I am a beginning writer, still learning my craft, and a perfectionist who is striving to try without doubt overwhelming my quest. My goal is to accept that these 12 stories probably won’t be of literary genius, but the perfection will come from finishing a goal.
For more information on the particular challenge I have laid out for myself, please read ‘The Challenge’ post soon to follow.